Emperor Mensuraton and the Sword of Statisticales



The rule of Emperor Mensuraton begat army upon army of data until it overran the Empire. The Sword of Statisticales was dispatched to reduce them summarily. Some were average, while others were mean, and one was a la mode. They plotted through lines, bars and pies until finally there emerged one number to rule them all.


Have you spent hours or days taking performance measurements and then been drowned in a sea of data? Have you ever wondered what to put onto a chart to make it pretty, if not useful? Are you an engineer who slept through statistics class?

The Emperor’s story (which incidentally exists on a statically defined Pythagorean incline and is filled with silver bullets and placebos) is a lesson for us all when combating streams of data on one hand, production emergencies on the other and managerial deadlines on the undefended forward flank.

Speaking experience


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    Philip Tellis



    Philip Tellis is a geek who likes to make the computer do his work for him. As part of his job with the Performance and Security teams at Yahoo! he analyses the impact of various design decisions on web application performance and security. He also maintains the javascript implementation of strftime used in YUI and plays around with security, accessibility and i18n. He is the maintainer of several opensource projects including ayttm and libyahoo2, and most recently, boomerang — a real user web performance measurement tool.

    In his spare time, Philip enjoys cycling, reading, cooking and learning spoken languages.

    Philip has spoken at several conferences in the past, including FOSS.IN, FREED.IN, Ubuntulive, Linux Symposium, PHP Quebec, Opensource Bridge, WebDU, FOSDEM, IPC and ConFoo.